Written By: Genevieve Goetz – “Lyme Yoga Warrior”
What is invisibility?” – a very wise beyond his years 2 yr old asked me once….
And I was stunned at how hard it was to really describe or understand. I tried object permanence ideas, but he was too smart for that. He knew there was a magic and mystery to invisibility.
Now years later, I’m still looking for a definition. How much is really invisible, and how much do we actively choose to not see.
This isn’t the first time I’ve fallen into the “We know you are there but we can’t acknowledge your trauma” category before… so I find an ease into a dark place knowing how alone I am and how to cloak myself in self destruction.
As I’m learning now, I don’t have to hide my pain, shame, guilt, and vulnerability. That it’s not my fault. That my everyday pain is seen, and can be used as a gift.
Is invisibility universal or individual interpretation? Who can’t see me? Who chooses not to? .
It’s hard not to feel so helpless with the threat of Obamacare repeal with no concurring policy. It’s hard not to feel invisible amongst the other 20 million lives at risk.
My experience at the women’s march:
I won’t be able to physically join @womensmarch. Which is a large disappointment for me. But @bekindforlyme and Suffering the Silence put together #MarchingWithMe, pairing people who otherwise would be invisible, with wonderful people to represent them during the march. I signed up, but didn’t really know what to expect.
My partners are amazing women, who emailed me details and photos throughout the day. She tagged me in her Facebook pictures, and it felt like I was really there! Here are 4 strangers willing to where a picture of me around their neck all day, and march for equality of human rights. I felt included in something bigger than just myself and my daily struggle to survive.
All the loneliness and isolation of being a 31 year old disabled woman with neurological Lyme felt validated. I was healthy just a year ago. I will be healthy again. I felt a resurgence of hope that went beyond my own 24/7 job of self care and healing. There were people from all over the world, out there marching for folks just like me.
All their faces, signs, words have left an imprint of love and support. Seeing women so unified, strong, and powerful will not be forgotten. I’ll hold those memories in my mind preciously. Seeing how our world can be so united when faced with adversity. How loud our voice is.